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My Investigation Christmas

Updated: Feb 15, 2019


When the left got all excited about the for President Trump in Michael Cohen's sentencing, I called it Resistance Christmas. That got a laugh out of some folks, but I meant it: the way the encircling of President Trump is coming down, the porn star payoffs and Moscow tower plans were designed to diddle leftists and please them just before Christmas.

Not that any of them celebrate Christmas.

People asked me, what is an Investigation Christmas like?

Investigation Christmas - that's what families like mine are going through. Witnesses, subjects and targets of the Mueller investigation. There are a few dozen people caught up in this mess, and most of us probably had a Christmas a bit different from yours. People like me, JD Gordon, Roger Stone, Jerry Corsi, and others who aren't clear of this whole mess yet. If you're out of the woods with the Mueller team, the House Democrats are still gearing up to drink your blood.

2017 was a bit different, of course, but the teeth of the Democrats' revenge play hadn't really sunk in yet. A year ago, we didn't know, but they were just getting started. One year after their queen, Hillary Clinton, was humiliated at the polls, they were still aching for revenge.

In the beginning of 2018, my wife and I thought things would begin to turn around. We had emptied our daughters' college fund to pay for my legal fees. We also put off really needed renovation work on our home - in late 2016, we bought an 1890s house in our little village with plans to renovate and update it. Our roof was leaking, the place was drafty and the heater was faulty. Our bathrooms were inadequate, too. When we bought the place we had plans to fix it up immediately.

In early 2018, we started doing what homeowners do: we were picking contractors and all that. Luckily, we didn't pull the trigger on any of that stuff because we ran into some really private family troubles related to the investigation that really threw us for a loop. By March, it was clear that all our family plans had to be put on hold. We cancelled our kids' Spring Break trip to Disney - just too expensive, considering.

Many people think I must be getting paid a lot to appear on cable news. Actually, I appear for free. They pay for my expenses - flights, cars and hotels - but I don't make any money from it. I promised to defend the President every time I'm invited, and I do that. There aren't enough voices out there in his corner, so I try to do my part. But it doesn't help my family at all - in fact, I get so many death and violence threats after my appearances that my wife wants me to stop altogether.

Then, news came in April 2018 that Senate and Special Counsel investigators wanting to interview me in May. That was expensive and cost me some clients - I own a public relations firm, which I founded in 2003. But a public relations consultant is supposed to organize positive PR, and our clients started getting unwanted attention from the Resistance crowd.

I don't typically do political work, I joined the Trump campaign because of my friendship with the President. My firm represents restaurant chains, law firms, entertainment clients - nothing political at all. But a burger restaurant we were working with was attacked by leftists who started organizing a boycott. Resistance types came marching into the restaurant complaining loudly that the place was associated with "Trump traitors." And even though these freaks don't eat meat, the company cancelled our agreement.

The same thing happened across the year, in one way or another, with other clients. I don't really blame them: the lies leftists are telling about me, just a witness in this investigation, are pretty disgusting. It doesn't matter if it's a local freak activist, some Hollyweirdo, or an elected congressman - they're so unhinged and they're telling outright lies about all of us. If I was a car salesman or even a Republican election consultant, that would be one thing. But my PR firm represents normal American companies. They don't understand the issues, and of course they don't want the attention.

Losing one client in particular was really a drag. I was a founding member of the production company behind a national touring ballet called Sleeping Beauty Dreams. Most people don't know that part of me, but I'm really fond of opera, ballet and the performing arts. My PR firms helps market and promote these kinds of events. Sleeping Beauty Dreams was something I really loved working on - the prima ballerina is Diana Vishneva, an incredible dancer from Russia. My reporter friends laughed when they heard about this project - real Russian collusion, but with a ballerina. But other reporters got nasty, and threatened to kill the project before it got off the ground.

In the end, I lost that client - my largest client - in August. The irony is not lost on me: Russian ballet performers and producers fired my firm because of... Russian Collusion?

Restaurants, law firms, performances: I don't blame any of them, I blame the unhinged Resistance. But, in the end, my family lost most of our income. So, as the end of the year approached, our savings disappeared. Just like most normal American families, we save for Christmas. In 2018, we couldn't.

But my wife and I were determined to celebrate as best we could. I think we managed just like most average American families managed, just like my family managed when I grew up. There's no spare money to throw around, but there's lots of love and determination to have an enjoyable time.

We also have three daughters - four, six and sixteen years old. The young ones don't know what gold looks like, and our teenager realizes the situation. My wife comes from a humble Ukrainian family, so she wasn't upset about it. The disappointment was mostly in my heart. I worked hard all my career; I had many years of financial success. To be unable to post a remarkable Christmas for my girls just because Hillary missed her coronation and I had to pay for it: that gets in my head sometimes. But I resist the urge to get mad, mostly.

I try to suffer those angry emotions silently. To deal with my regret and anger, I turn to my church. In fact, we live across from our Catholic parish, 39 steps away, so close that the bells mark every moment of our day. We wake up to the bells, we take pause to hear the beautiful songs rung out through the day. The bells were recently taken away for repairs, and our lives dimmed.

Our church it plays a big role in our lives. Ana, my six year old attends second grade there. We go to mass every week together, and we enjoy special events there. My favorite priest, Father Bob, is my advisor as well. He is a level headed, respectably cranky fellow - he doesn't let me get away with anything, least of all for feeling sorry for myself. He told me something truly wise, once: Michael, It's okay to pray that they fail. Think about that. It's really profound.

So how was Investigation Christmas for us? I pray. It’s easy, and it’s so good for your soul. Nobody is perfect. That movie star, Chris Pratt said something in a speech that really struck me: "People are gonna tell you you’re perfect just the way you are — you’re not. You are imperfect. You always will be. But, there is a powerful force that designed you that way. And if you’re willing to accept that, you will have grace. And grace is a gift. And like the freedom that we enjoy in this country that grace was paid for with somebody else’s blood, do not forget it. Don’t take it for granted."

That guy is wise, and brave. Saying that in front of the Hollywood crowd is truly brave.

This Christmas, I searched for grace. The grace to overcome my anger, the grace to just focus on my love for my girls, the grace to understand that all of this will pass, eventually. The grace to forget the evil people who are trying to ruin me, if just for one day. The grace to find a smaller tree, and cut it down myself. The grace to know that fewer presents didn't matter to my girls, who love me unconditionally.

The grace to know my wife is okay with this, strong, and smiling through it all. She hurts often, I know, and I don't think she tells me all the time when it's getting to her. But this Christmas, as always, she was my rock.

My mother in law is here from Ukraine and that’s super cool for the holidays. My mother and her husband drove in all the way from Ohio to be with us. Our wonderful friends Michael and Kelly Guy in Portland sent a delicious smoked turkey, again, and it was the centerpiece of our Christmas Eve dinner. We all cooked together, then ate together. I made Christmas morning breakfast and the girls bounced off the walls, opening up one inexpensive but beloved gift after another. The lights of our tree weren't any less bright than previous holidays. In fact, they seemed brighter.

A lot of really special things happened this year during my Investigation Christmas. Small things, but truly remarkable things. Things I won't share with the world, but I'm truly blessed.

One thing made an incredible difference: the bells of Immaculate Conception came back just in time for the holidays. On Christmas morning, they rang out one hymn after another, celebrating Christ's birth, all day it seemed. I took a moment on the front porch, by myself, as my little ones rolled a Christmas snowman, and heard those songs deep in my soul. Grace had arrived, because I made room for it.

So to all the haters, baiters and investigators: Merry Christmas. Ours was wonderful, and I guess I have you to thank for it.

Because I prayed for it, and you failed.

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© 2019 Still Standing with Michael Caputo

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